June 2009

06102K9
Awkward little scene in the office today. One of my co-workers overslept and showed up late for work, so he was sent home. That got the busybody gossipists talking about how they would never be late to work for that or some such.

Black Guy: "I couldn't oversleep if I wanted to 'cause my phone sits right next to my head and the alarm be loud as shit!"
Old Lady: "Well I have a cat that wakes me up every morning, and if she don't my alarm clock will."
Stupid Fat Bitch: "I have a cat, too. She sleeps next to me on her own little pillow but I'm usually up before she is."
Me: "I have an erection."

They all stare at me. Black Guy laughs and leaves the room.

SFB: "How does that wake you up?"
Me: "I always sleep on my stomach so it lifts me up and makes me roll over and I fall off the bed."

Old Lady shakes her head and leaves.

SFB: "Wow, doesn't that hurt?"
Me: "Yeah..I didn't really think we'd be on this subject for this long, but yeah, it does."
SFB: "I rolled over out of my bed once, and then..."

She was interrupted so I don't know what happened, but I'm guessing she registered about a 5.8 on the Richter scale.

Hot Manager walks in. HM: "James, what's this I hear about you having an erection?"

James: "Well, I don't actually have one right this moment, but if you're ready to go right now I'm sure I can work something out."

She tries to hide a smile and walks away, then comes back with a serious face.

HM: "Well, no one wants to hear about it, okay? Especially not (Old Lady). Or me. We're already down a person so I don't want to have to send you home, too."

I'm gonna get that, one of these days.

Sandman

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June 2009

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