August 2004
08292K4
Added anton.htm and jenn3rz.txt to the messenger archives.
08272K4
Yesterday I discovered by accident a very fun thing to do with a turbocharged car on the highway.
Loosen the clamps on your intercooler pipe (or use old, worn-out hoses with oil residue on them) at the throttle body so they'll hold, but not well enough to sustain a lot of boost. Test it out to get it right.
Drive down the highway and find someone with the windows rolled down.
Get in the lane next to them and trail behind them a little.
Nail it to build 15+ pounds of boost, timing it right so you know the pipe will blow off just as you reach their door.
Back off and laugh as they swerve around and wonder what the fuck just happened.
Pull over and reattach the pipe, then do it to someone else.
Today after work I'm going to Home Depot to pick up a few 2.5"-3" pipe adapters so I won't be doing that any more, but I'll see if I can get a video of it before I put them on.
Of course I wasn't exactly trying to do it, but it was hilarious, especially with the chick in the fox body Mustang. After doing it the first time I pulled over into a Circle-K to put the pipe back on the throttle body. There was half of a burrito on the ground and a ton of ants were on it, so I was doing everything from the side of the engine compartment. This old black dude came over to see if I needed any help, and he was asking about the car and telling me about an old Nova he used to have. Then he suddenly started doing short jumps and danced around. "Oh, uh..you might want to stand away from the ants," I told him. He yelled, "Oooooh, lawdy, I thought the devil was in my britches!!" Seems pretty hilarious now that I think about it. I guess I was too hot and frustrated to laugh at the time.
I got banned from the megadeth.com forums. It's not my fault they're so susceptible to trolling. I've never met a group of people who are so easy to piss off, and the funny thing is that most of them are afraid to openly flame me on the board. Instead, they flood my pm box with stupid shit. Someone asked what the hardest metal song you could play was. I replied, "I can play the guitar part to Dawn Patrol flawlessly." One guy got the joke. A bunch of them PM'd me. "HEY STOOPID THERE IS NO GUITAR IN DAWN PATROL U DUMB FUCK!!!" Holy shit, really? And one of the threads asked who we thought would be a good lead guitarist to join the band would be. I said BB King, and they could make an album called Killing with the King (making a joke reference to Eric Clapton's and BB King's album Riding with the King). Two people got the joke. Once again, more PMs. "U IDIOT KING PLAYS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TYPE OF MUSIC THEN MEGADETH!!!!" Thanks guys, never would have guessed. Same thing happened when I suggested Megadeth should cover some Marvin Gaye songs in one of the dumbest threads I've ever seen - "Which Megadeth song is the best to listen to when you're making love?" Wish I would've screenshotted some of the PMs I got for that one before they banned me. They were amazing.
08262K4
I put my old pipe back on and fixed the hoses so they'll seal. Even with the restriction of the 2.5" pipe with the tighter bend, the thing still jumps from 5 pounds to 15 pounds in less than a second. It's crazy how much effect a non-restrictive air intake has on performance. The only problem is that the up pipe likes to slide off the throttle body with 12+ pounds sustained, so every once in a while I have to stop in a parking lot and put the thing back on. I'll have to find a way to make the new pipe fit.
Word on the street is that there's a pre-pubescent fuck who may be responsible for my hood's new blemish. He allegedly likes to bust bottles in peoples' driveways, throw tree limbs at cars and shit like that. His dad happens to be the guy I was talking about in my hurricane post who beats his kid. I wonder how dad would react to the news?
08252K4
It rained last night from the time I got home to about 9:30, so I went outside around 10 to put my old pipe back on as a temporary solution to my boost problem, but now the old hoses are so worn out that they're not sealing right. Awesome. I also got ate up by a million or so mosquitos, and this morning there was a 2 inch gash in my fucking hood. I have no clue how it got there, and it's in the middle of the hood so I couldn't have done it myself. Fuck!
Here's what it looks like now:
Should be pulling around 310-320 hp. and 370+lbs of torque. When I get my shit fixed I'll take it to KDK in Orlando to get it dyno'd.
08232K4
I installed my chrome 3" MAF pipe (replacing my old air duct tube thing) and connected a 9" K&N filter with a 4" opening directly to the MAF instead of using the two 4" elbows and putting the filter under the headlights. I also replaced my 2" intercooler pipe with a 3" chrome pipe. I got my fuel timing retard to go up just by revving it in park. Sounds badass (the wastegate flutter is amplified by the filter echo) and builds boost quicker. Well, it did yesterday, anyway. Now I've got a damn boost leak after I built up 15 pounds and blew off my up pipe on the release (which sounded awesome, by the way). Then I couldn't get it to fit correctly. I'm hoping duct tape will work because I don't want to put that shitty 2" pipe back on.
I also put on my license plate frame that reads "Gone mustang hunting" at the top and "Back in 12 seconds" at the bottom. :D
Funny shit:
vtec1.mp3 2.9 mb
vtec2.mp3 2.4 mb
08182K4
I'd like to clear a few things up for a lot of people who probably wouldn't figure it out otherwise.
Then and than:
Put your shoes on first, then tie them.
He's dumber than he looks.
Your and you're:
Bring your stupid ass over here and pay attention so I don't have to explain this again.
You're really starting to piss me off.
Its and it's:
Mike's new Honda is nice but its training wheels keep him from parking in compact car spots.
It's not that I don't like you. It's just...well, I guess it is that I don't like you. Go away.
A lot and alot:
There are a lot of idiots that infest our message boards.
"Alot" is not a word, you braindead fuck.
There, their and they're:
There is always room for jello.
The secret to their success is mandatory euthanasia.
No, I said you'd never learn how to sew your pants correctly. Look at them - they're full of holes and the threads are coming loose!
Viruses and virii:
Every day is a challenge to see how many viruses he can infect himself with.
"Virii" isn't a word. Kill yourself.
Mute and moot:
He's deaf and mute so you can make fun of him all you want.
Yours is a moot argument because it's obvious you're an idiot.
This is the best stuff ever:
It's a Brazilian soft drink made with guarna. Tastes kind of like Bawls mixed with Mountain Dew, with something else thrown in.
Sanbitter is some nasty shit that looks like tranny fluid and tastes like liquid ass.
Dad's honey lemonade is badass, as is Jack Black blue cream soda. I've got a few others here I'm going to try out this week.
08162K4
I updated my fast food reviews in the reviews section of the text archives.
08152K4
Hurricanes can be fun. Not Hurricane Charley, though. That hurricane was no fun at all, although the news anchor on channel 9 would have you believe otherwise when she leaned against the 100+mph wind. That looked awesome.
I stayed home from work so I could get everything ready for the storm. With all of my grandmother's various stupid lawn ornaments and whatnot, it took us a while, though the first thing I did was move my GN to the side of our lot where there's one palm tree as opposed to three dozen or so oak trees, and covered it. Then I figured I'd move the camaro over there as well, even though it really doesn't deserve it. Around 5pm the atmospheric pressure was noticeably low, and it was so quiet I could hear my neighbors (the ones next to the guy who beats his kid) talking quietly in their driveway.
It started raining around 9:30, but the wind didn't get to us until around 11. The power went out and I heard everyones generators kick on. The generator at the house of the guy who beats his kid went off for a second, then the guy yelled "DON'T TOUCH IT!!!" and probably started wailing on his kid. While limbs were falling, wind was howling, dogs were shaking, neighbors were screaming and kids were being beaten, we were watching Space Ghost on Paul's laptop. Oh, that Zorack. What a character.
Then Greg showed up after driving around in the hurricane, and reported that there were a bunch of powerlines all over the roads, and trees fallen and whatnot. I bolted out the door to make sure my car was ok. The cover came off, but otherwise good. After Paul's laptop died we drove around and looked at all the things the hurricane toppled over as it clumsily walked through my neighborhood. A huge tree limb was blocking the street at one end, so I drove through some guy's lawn very slowly and very carefully. Unfortunately for that guy I wasn't the only one who had that idea, but I was the only one who decided to go about it carefully. His lawn looked like shit in the morning. On the street at the opposite side of me a whole tree fell over and knocked a bunch of stuff down with it, including a bunch of powerlines.
At about 4 pm the next day, after our last UPS system died and we couldn't watch TV any longer, we walked down to where the tree fell to ask the power guys why they were going so damn slow. The guy probably wouldn't have been so eager to answer and assure us that the power would be on in half an hour if Terry hadn't been carrying a crowbar. We thought about looting some of the houses, but figured it would just get my neighbor angry and he'd beat his kid some more. Not that he doesn't deserve it.
08112K4
Added raiden.html to the Messenger Archives.
There's this odd woman in the store right now. I'm guessing she knows Barry. Possibly a neighbor, hopefully not his wife. She sounds like a drunken version of that MadTV character whose name escapes me (the one with the glasses and the hiked-up pants, has the shuddering "ohhhhh"). I don't think I've ever heard anyone speak as incoherently as this woman is speaking right now. In the middle of one of her sentences (something about her underage neighbors drinking) she said "Well, I think I'm gonna go now," and without even a pause that one would normally follow a sentence with to break for another, she starts talking about tropical storms, and how LCD monitors are expensive. I'm going to guess crack, but I could be wrong.
Warp green tea energy mints are the shit!
08032K4
ThinkGeek just sent me a bunch of free stuff.
08022K4
It looks like there aren't too many people in Florida who have read my driving guidelines, because motorists are still clueless.
This morning coming to work was the same as any other day, I suppose. People driving under the speed limit in the left lane, pulling out in traffic and then driving slowly, coming into my lane right next to me and then honking at me when they notice that I'm here and have no room to go forward, like it's my fault they're completely vacuous and lacking any kind of common sense. You know, the usual. But what got me was the guy in the SRT-4 on the on-ramp. First of all, this guy was driving so incredibly slow I probably could have turned off and taken the back way and still gotten onto Bay Street (the street that the ramp merges onto) before he did. Why would you buy a turbo'd neon for any reason other than being quick? Besides being utterly retarded, I don't know. He made a 100 foot ramp seem like a mile, and then I figured he would come to a dead stop instead of merging, like every other braindead idiot around here does. Nope, he merged -- at about ten mph and did a pretty good job at pissing a lot of people off.
And then going to lunch I was on the off-ramp and the van in front of me was going really slow when he got in the merge lane, so I just got onto the highway and took off. He got over after I passed him and layed on his horn for a good ten seconds, like I was supposed to wait for his slow, stupid ass, and have violated some unwritten rule of the road by merging before he did. He didn't even have to wait very long. The accelerator's on the right, idiot.
And then on Wolfbranch to turn into 7-11. This one was just great. Here's a picture of how the turning lanes are setup:
As you can see, there are two turning lanes (there's also a third but it's irrelevant), and they are clearly marked with arrows, and there's one of those areas with the yellow lines between the turning lanes. I pulled into the 7-11 turning lane (a) and had to promptly pull back out because there was a crazy bitch in an SUV that decided she was going to drive through all of that to get to the 441 turning lane (b). I obviously have the right-of-way here, and she honked at me and gave me the finger. So I had to turn into the old folk's condo and turn around. When I stepped out of my car this black dude said, "Hey man, I was behind ya back there. You gotta watch them crazy white women, now!"
So remember, folks: merging lanes are for merging, not for being a jackass, and turning lanes are for turning, not for driving through and seeing just how much of an idiot you can be. We all can probably gather that you're stupid, so you don't need to prove it -- especially on the road. Drive safely.