07282K3
It's a well-known fact that nothing pisses me off more than stupid people. I don't like stupid people, because I can't possibly comprehend what's going on in their mind when they're doing stupid stuff. It gets me stressed and it shortens my lifespan. If I don't move away from this area soon, I'll be dead in a month or two at the rate things are going.
Friday I was driving to work the same way I always go and I stopped at a light, and to my left was a white mini van facing the same way I was. The problem here was that he was in the wrong lane. I didn't know why he didn't back up and get behind me, or why he was even there in the first place, but he were there. A black guy rolled up and tried to make a right turn on the street we were on, but he couldn't because there was a dumbass in a mini van in the wrong lane blocking his way. The black guy sat on his window outside the car and yelles "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!!" He got back in his car and just laid on the horn and yelled some more stuff, but I couldn't make it out because I was laughing too hard. The van backed up about five feet. The black guy yelled some more and gave him him the bird, and just went straight.
The light turned green and I didn't wait for the idiot in the van. I made my left turn, then, once I was a good 30-40 feet away, I heard tires screeching and horns blowing. I don't know what happened, but it was probably funny.
That same day around 10 am it was just Rob and I here. Craig was at home sleeping and wasn't planning on coming in. Must be nice. The phone rang, I answered. It was some lady having trouble with her e-mail. Rob's the tech. Here's how the convo went:
Our hero: Thank you for calling Hurricane. This is James speaking. How may I help you?
Stupid bitch: Yeah, hi, I'm having some trouble with my e-mail. Is Craig there?
Our hero: No, ma'am, but I can put you through to our tech support guy Rob and he'll be happy to help you.
Stupid bitch: I thought this was supposed to be 24/7 tech support!!
Our hero: (after pausing, trying to think what the hell she's talking about) Uh...it is.
Stupid bitch: So Craig left someone who doesn't know anything in charge?
Our hero: Uh..Rob's here. He's our tech support guy. He helps people like you. I'll put you through to him.
Stupid bitch: People like me?!? What's that supposed to mean? Let me speak to your superior, please.
Our hero: Speaking.
Stupid bitch: I don't have to take this. I just wanted to know WHY THERE'S NO ONE TO HELP ME WHEN IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 24/7 TECHNICAL SERVICE!!!
I just hang up the phone. She called back and I told Rob to answer it. Her problem was that she couldn't find the Outlook Express icon, which was on her desktop.
Now to my third idiot encounter of the same day:
I was coming back from lunch and pulling into the parking lot. In front of our big plaza parking lot is mcdonalds. I hate their food and I hate their customers, but most of all I hate that they're in our plaza - right at the goddamned entrance. I came through and stopped at the line of cars before the drive-thru to make sure no one was going to hit me coming out of there. Some fucking retarded-looking lady in a mustang pulled up right in front of me, about two feet away and motioned for me to go. So I'm just thinking, "Sure, lady. Let me just plow right into your door." She just kept sitting there, waiting for me to go. Go where? Hell, I don't know. So I stuck my head out the window and told her to move the fuck out of my way. She just kept motioning for me to go, and about ten cars were behind her, some honking their horns. Everyone in the plaza was staring at her. So I stuck my head out the window again.
"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! YOU'RE PISSING EVERYONE OFF!!!" I couldn't move forward and I couldn't back up because a truck was right behind me. I layed on my horn and and she just shrugged her shoulders and looked surprised, like she didn't know why everyone was honking at her. I unfastened my seatbelt to get up and have a talk with this bitch. A mcdonald's employee was also starting to walk up to her car. She finally moved when I started to open my door.
Fucking people.
This weekend was cool. Saturday night I put 4 racks of baby back ribs on the grill. Two racks came out perfectly, but the grill must have flamed up on one side because the other two were charcoal. The dogs liked them, though. Last night I put some bratwurst and some Polish sausage on the grill, and I soaked some in regular coca-cola. That shit was great. I don't even like bratwurst all that much but this was like the best shit I've ever eaten. And when the coke burns it smells like caramel.
07212K3
Added Dirty South Freestyle Diss to the poems secion in the text archives.
I was playing CS on the KGB server for an hour or two yesterday and I did pretty good for someone who's been out of practice. I would either die without getting a kill, or I'd get at least 3 kills, all in rapid succession. One time I dropped out of the vents with the MP5 (I hate that gun) and got 6 kills. I used to do that with nothing but a deagle and it wouldn't have been anything to be excited about, but I'm severely out of practice.
After a while I just put my KGB tag back on and let myself back into the clan, without being re-recruited. And then XAM (the leader) gave me admin and rcon on both servers. I'm probably the first person to ever just show up, put a tag on myself and then get admin, much less rcon. It must be due to the insane amount of ass I kick; that, and the fact that I have huge balls.
Craig still hasn't ordered my system. He's a lazy bitch. I could have ordered it and put it together and made enough money to pay for it and proved the Riemann hypothesis by now. If he hadn't given me a grill I would put some sugar in his gas tank and some thermite on his hood. Then he'd be screwed because he'd be too much of a lazy bitch to get it fixed.
07182K3
Added the Seven Shells of Injustice screen play to the misc section in the text arcives. It's mainly an inside joke, but it's still pretty good.
I was thinking yesterday was Friday for some reason. I went to bed pretty late and was planning on going shopping in the morning before my grandmother got home. So this morning my dog woke me up around 7:55. "Go away, Max. It's Satuday...oh wait, no it's not. Crap!" I was about fifteen minutes late, but no one was here, as usual. And tonight I have to go shopping with my grandmother, damn it. I think I'm going to eat some stuff in the fridge and get sick so I don't have to go.
07152K3
Last night my grandmother brought home a disposable grill...yeah. We own something like a dozen gas grills. I make no exaggeration here, folks. All those grills and she brings home a disposable one. I guess she wanted that charcoal taste.
She set it up in the kitchen. I asked why she didn't just set it up outside under the carport thing. "There might be mosquitos out there." Okay. I came back an hour later and that part of the house was smoked up. Her eyes were watering from the smoke. "Guys..*cough cough* dinner is *COOUUUGHH* ready *cough." Yay! Steak that tastes like pork and smoke! Alright! Seriously, how do you mess up grilling a steak?
07142K3
Added three convos with Alchemy to the messenger mayhem section - counterninja, instantfish and originalflavor.
Got my charcoal and lighter fluid, yea yea. Now I just need a charcoal grill. I thought we had one, but they're all gas.
07102K3
Added hulksucks and alchemysong to the messenger mayhem section.
Last night sucked. I had some nice plans. Some very nice plans. Plans for the kinds of things I'd like to do on my birthday, but had never gotten a chance to. And of course my grandma has to ruin it all. She already told everyone on my father's side of the family that we're going to Zelly's Pub (shitty restaurant that I hate with a passion) and waited until yesterday to tell me. I said I had plans. "But...but I already told everyone you'd be there." And continued on and on and on. So I got off of work and headed over to the shitty restaurant and sat down at the shitty outdoor picknick table and ordered my shitty food. The food there SUCKS and everyone complains about it, but still they go there every time someone has a birthday or something. My dad didn't show up because he's the only one with any kind of sense. He came in the store around 3 to tell me happy birthday, which was pretty cool. As the night went on horribly I received a keychain, some rainx and $40. Go me. Did I mention the food sucked?
Now here's what really got me pissed. Since my grandmother couldn't decide on what to get me, she figured it'd be best to take me clothes shopping. No, not just give me a credit card or a checkbook so I can go buy some clothes - she actually wants to take me to Ross or something and help me pick out clothes. Apparently I'm not old enough yet. She could just give me the card or the checkbook and let me go, and I'd be in and out of the store in half-an-hour tops, and be home with some nice, new clothes. Instead, she's driving me down there and following me around the store, "helping" me pick out clothes by telling me what I should and shouldn't get, and then taking up to 1.5 hours to browse around the store with no intention to buy anything while I stand there waiting on her. We'll probably bring my brother along too, who needs no clothes, but she'll refuse to leave if he hasn't gotten at least $50 worth of merchandise, which he has no room in his little closet to put.
And then on the way back she'll ask us where we want to eat. "I'm not hungry," I'll say. Same from my brother. "Oh come on, make up your mind." She'll say. Translation: "I don't give a fuck if you're hungry or not. I'm hungry, so we're stopping somewhere." And the only places are the usual fast food joints, and I'm not a big fan of fast food. So I break it down to her - "We're not hungry. You're the only one hungry. Why don't you stop wherever the hell you want to stop and get something." Then she says she's not hungry. Five minutes later - "Better hurry up and make up your minds!" Christ, woman.
Saturday (tomorrow) I'll hopefully be going to my mom's house to meet the side of my family that doesn't have their heads up their asses as a whole. All I asked for my birthday was a bag of charcoal and some lighter fluid, and I'm pretty sure I'll get that. It beats the hell out of a keychain and rainx.
Now you're probably wondering why I wanted charcoal and lighterfluid. Welp, there's never anything to eat at my house. I have my own kitchen with my own fridge, but it's not full of my own food. It's full of garbage that I can't eat. My grandparents put shit like flour and gravy mix and pancake mix in my fridge, and my freezer is full of...hell, I don't even know. But there is no room at all in it. And there's nothing to eat. At all. Nothing. Garbage. But there are some steak...things. I'm not real sure what they are. Some kind of meat sealed in air-tight packages. So I'm gonna clean up one of our grills and grill some of that. If it's not any good, I'll start throwing it all away and I'll start buying stuff like ribs, chicken, sausage and steaks to fill up my freezer with, so I'll have something to eat late at night finally. And if they give me any shit about it, I swear I'll blow the motherfucker up.
07082K3
I almost have the new cdeath design finished. It's a huge difference from all the other designs. So far I've gotten comments like "Fuckin' PIMP!" and "Dude, that's SICCCCCCKKKKKKKKK" and "WTF! TEACH ME!" and "Sandman, I need your PS skills." and a few others I forget. Oh yeah and Pois3n the perpetually-oblivious idiot from KGB says it sucks and that he can do better. And you know I've always been one to respect the opinions of idiots.
07072K3
Added shaborianbs to the messenger mayhem section, and I made the title at the top of this page load random phrases.
The other day I began to gloat about something and I had to remind myself to keep my ego in check, because if I let it get out of control, I'd start to realize just how much ass I kick, which is so great that it could overload my mind because not even I can fully understand just how much ass I kick. Then it got me thinking.
If my mind can't comprehend just how much ass I kick, then I must not be very awesome. But if I'm not very awesome, then how come I kick so much ass that my mind can't even comprehend it?
This is the unsolvable paradox that threatens the very existence of all that is, and it rears its ugly head everytime I begin to gloat. And I only gloat when I'm owning some newb. Newbs, do you really want to cross me? Could you really live with the fact that you caused the un-making of reality?
Newbs are always trying to destroy the universe.
07022K3
Added a few things to the graphics section. Everything under origin.jpg is new.
Redrum-13 just put up a new site at bwhacks.com. Go check it out if you're into that sort of thing.
My birthday is on the 10th, for those of you with deep pockets and a desire to help the poor.
07012K3
I organized the Text Archives a bit and added a Reviews section. It's empty...I'll have to fix that within the next few days or weeks.
I like how I setup the news archives on this site as opposed to the old site. All I have to do is copy the index file over to the archives folder and rename it to the month it covered. I don't know why I didn't do that before. Maybe I wasn't as lazy back then.
Speaking of news, yesterday it was brought to my attention that the text I had under "The News" was the same as Real Life Comics, so I changed it. When I get the random page titles up I'll probably also make that random, because I can do that sort of thing and there's not a whole lot that can stop me.
Yesterday one of those crazy Doctor guys ordered 3 more sites for $3200 a piece. I already finished them, and then I made another just for the hell of it. Unfortunately I'm only getting something like 12% commission. Just more reason why I should freelance. Oh well, I like the steady paycheck. I probably wouldn't be able to get these clients on my own, anyway. If I had time I would do this as well as freelancing. Then maybe I could afford repairs, insurance and school.
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Contact:
craigsucks at gmail dot com