July 2004
07302K4
This reminded me of someone I know:
How to spot a rich guy.
07262K4
Recipe for eliminating horrid fender rub and body roll:
shox.com
[
Bilstein Shocks
Set of 4
219.80
Eibach Pro-Kit Springs
Lowers car 1.0 inches.
239.00
Energy Suspension Bushings
HyperFlex bushing kit.
174.95
Addco front sway bar
Front bar is 1.125", comes with urethane bushings.
129.00
]
atrperformance.com
[
ATR rear sway bar
1.375"
$179.95
]
ebay
[
Lower control arms
Billet aluminum bushings, steel inserts with grease fittings.
$74.99
]
When my bank account recovers: air bag kit, seat braces, upper control arms, GNX bushings.
07252K4
That cruise kinda sucked. Our boat was small, the food was horrible, we had three people in a 5x10 room, the elevator didn't seem to work, there were maybe 3 hotties on the whole boat and there was absolutely nothing to do.
We got on the boat around 3 and started moving at 5. I slept from 3 to 6, and then had a shitty steak and went back to sleep. I woke up around 10:30. Charlie was back from the bar and was looking pretty wasted.
And Josh was pissed because I woke him up.
I was bored and couldn't sleep, so I decided to go up to the bar. Charlie wanted to go with me, so he tumbled out of the top bunk bed and stumbled out of the room behind me, bare-footed and in his pajamas. He said he only had 3 bahama mamas. What a light-weight.
We finally made it up to the bar on the top sun deck after climbing steps and watching Charlie trying not to fall for twenty minutes. I had 3 tequila sunrises and he had 2 fuzzy navels. I thought I was going to have to carry him back down to the room, but he only fell maybe four times. I didn't even get a buzz.
The next morning they told us we should buy our drinks on the boat before we got off, because they'd be way more expensive once we got off. My grandma bought some water for $2.75 and it wasn't even cold. As soon as we got off, there were some guys running around with boxes of sodas and bottles of water and gatorade. Soda - $0.50, water - $1.00, gatorade - $1.50. More expensive my ass. We took a boat over to Blue Lagoon island, where I slept in a hammock for a few hours, ate lunch, and slept some more.
Charlie was pretty much out of it until he went snorkeling with some stingrays. After I got my face sun-burnt we got on a boat back to Nasau, and then made our way back to the ship.
There were six cans of soda in our room for $1.75 each, and I was thirsty. So:
I put on my pimp outfit and went to dinner. How can you make prime rib taste like ham? They did it somehow. When we came back the Korean housekeeping dude was like "I had replace Coke. Closed but empty, I do not understand!" He replaced one but didn't pick up the others to see that they were empty as well. I drank two more and we were never billed for them.
At 10 Charlie and I went back up to the bar. We sat in the reserved area. I was lounging back in my white Axis silk jacket and black Gran Sasso pique crew, puffing on a Cuban and sipping on a dry martini while Charlie was hitting his head on the table after two bahama mamas. The waitress gave me a free tequila sunrise and we headed back to the room. Charlie was stumbling around, running into walls and tripping over his own feet. "I wwwwaaanna go to the club," he said as he floundered down a staircase. I told him the club on this ship sucked and I went on to the room. He decided to go to the club anyway. Around 12:30 I heard a loud thud outside the door. I opened it to find him on the floor, trying to stand up.
"Maaan, that club..SUCKED! I walked in, and this girl grabbed me by the shirt and said....'DON'T STEP THERE!' I was like 'Why?' and she said 'Look' so I looked and guess what? There was this big, awful turd. Or puke. Or something. I dunno. It was nasty. Then I couldn't find you so I went back to the bar to see if you went back to the bar to find me, then I fell down some stairs and I found Jerrice and Janny [Janice and Jerry, my second cousin and her husband). Then this woman who was drunker than I am had to help me find the room. She was uuuugly."
That was pretty much it. Charlie's quote summed up the trip nicely: "Go ahead and look for the signal, ya stupid phone. You're not gonna find it!"
07212K4
What happens when an asshole leaves his computer at my house, when I have four bored friends, an arsenal of fireworks, a box full of black powder and fuses, a bottle of transmission fluid, alcohol and a matchbox?
Chuck was taking pictures with his HP Photosmart camera and got some really nice shots. So I brought the camera to work with me today. I plugged it in and went to HP's site to download the drivers. Instead of having them available for download, they want me to order a CD. I gave them a call, hoping that they had just forgotten to put the drivers on the site. Nope. You have to purchase the disc. So, if you're in the market for a digital camera, just skip right over HP. If anyone has WinXP drivers for a Photosmart 318, please email me at craigsucks(at)gmail.com.
I bought some cheap gas treatment, toilet bowl cleaner, alcohol and some twine from the Dollar General store today, so hopefully we will be able to re-enact the scene so I can take a few shots with Craig's five megapixel Sony Mavica (for which you can download the drivers off Sony's website).
I'll be on a cruise until Saturday.
07192K4
Added A Day in the Life of a Sandpimp to the poems, and some of the sneeze garbage to the misc section of the text archives. I also trimmed up this page because there was a shitload of jumbled text on it.
I found a guy selling a CAS (charged air stretched) V4 intercooler, almost brand new for $650. I'm sort of broke from paying various bills so I can't afford it right now, but he's holding it for me until I get the money. Hell yeah.
07132K4
7-11 is pissing me off.
Everytime I find something there that I like and purchase often, they get rid of it. All of my favorite sandwiches are gone now, including the turkey sandwich with creole mustard and muenster cheese that they stopped selling yesterday. What did that replace it with? Some shitty ham sandwich on rye bread. But they still have that awful, awful sandwich with the vomit-inducing southwest mayonnaise, and the ham sandwich with "sweet" hotdog relish on it. Oh, and that turkey/ham "stacked club" sandwich with four pounds of mayonnaise spread on it with slices of turkey and little chunks of ham drowning in the mayonnaise. They also got rid of the grilled chicken parmesan, which people bought like crazy. Great job, guys. Stop carrying the things that actually sell, but hang on to the shit that people only buy when there's nothing else on the shelves. It's like they hate re-stocking the shelves so they try to only have things that won't sell very well, kind of like how they replaced Hank's soda with carbless Arizona tea that tastes like liquid ass. They replace all the good drinks with 20 or so different brands of fucking WATER. Seriously, who the fuck cares what name is on the bottle of water? It's water. I'm always seeing some chick back there, trying to make up her mind on which one out of the 50 or so different brands to get. They all cost about the same, they all have the same ingrediants. Just pick one already, you dumb bitch.
07122K4
One year from last Saturday I will be of legal drinking age.
07092K4
Those sneeze fetish guys don't like me very much. I'm now on my fifth account and IP address.
Oh yes, see, dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals did not sneeze because they ruled the world with an iron scaly fist claw thing. Let's just call it a mouth, since most if not almost all prehistoric animals had these. With such power, the things that would cause them to sneeze didn't dare do whatever it is they do to cause them to sneeze. So now you are probably thinking, "Boy, how un-erotic of them. Don't they know that sneezing is God's gift of odd arousal?" Well, now you know why the dinosaurs are extinct now; not only were they godless fucks, but they were never aroused because they never sneezed. You can read the whole thing in the misc. section of the text archives.
07082K4
What happens when Sandman (or "Flutter" in this case) wanders onto a Sneezing Fetish Forum?
Blessing People When They Sneeze
Clipping:Types of Sneezes
Well the last person that blessed me was a flutterer. A turbo without a blowoff valve (or a compressor bypass valve...GOD I am getting HARD!!) will make a fluttering sound. That is what I call people who are nervous about sneezing, like they are trying not to sneeze. They'll try really hard and end up making that fluttering sound. I talked to her but she didn't seem to like me very much, and said that she just blessed me because it is the polite thing to do. That was when I was working in this big office with a job designing modern cars with old body styles in AutoCAD. I figured she was just playing hard-to-get, so I decided to play with her a little and asked her if she wanted me to crank up the boost by adjusting her wastegate and turning my down pipe into an up pipe. She was speechless, so I thought my magic was really working with her. So I told her I could slap on a greenstripe hose, lube it up with some 30 weight and put it in her intercooler. She didn't seem to like that idea too much, so I suggested her wrapping her clamp around my throttle body plenum. The expression on her face suggested that that was much too hot for her, so then I said I could put a bottle of water wetter in her overflow tank.
Clipping:Yardwork Fun
HKS Super Sequential
This is the sneeze that should not be, because the person doesn't want to sneeze and it's like God is making them sneeze anyway because He is punishing them for being so fearful of Sneezing instead of his wrath, so they do it really quietly.
Good job there guy sneezing and whatnot. I don't sneeze much while mowing my lawn but when I'm in my attic or blowing dust out of my computer case with a can of co2 boy I let loose like a RFL at 30 pounds of boost man it's great. But that's the only time I can really do it that much. So did you and your church buddies like gang-sneeze her or did you line up and take turns getting sneezed? Either way sounds good to me!They keep deleting my posts, so you can see the originals here.
07072K4
machineprophecy.com is up, but trying to find the time to finish this thing is like trying to find clever witticism in anything I write.
Also, digitalvigilante.com is for sale. Any offers?
07062K4
All of my best stuff goes unnoticed/unappreciated. Bastards.
Re: What are you going to do for the 4th of July?
My slow mechanic pretty much ruined my plans. Unboosted weekends are no fun at all! Everyone I know is out doing something. So I'll just be chilling at home all day, bored as hell. Maybe I'll take this time to get re-aqainted with this "computer" thing sitting next to me. We haven't been able to spend much time together in the past few months, my computer and I. We were seperated for a while after I came home one day to find my computer in the arms of another man. "We were..uh..just doing a...spyware scan," she'd say. The lying harlot! Oh, but the pent-up anger that ignited by this massive spark left a bitter taste in my mouth once she turned the guilt table around on me. The scent of another computer on me was undenyable. "But I have to work with another computer! It's my job," I explained as the accusation assault volleyed between us, tethered to a pillar of lustful deceit. But time is said to mend all wounds, and I think this day could be magical.The weekend was indeed magical. I played in some WC3 mod CZ pub for like five total hours and slept the rest of the time.
Apparently those crazy cats in Congress are trying to ruin everyone's fun again.
Zeus of Go: lol.. they listed "Kingdom Hearts" as violent.. unless that was an error
o0 SandmaN 0o that disney final fantasy game?
Zeus of Go: yeah
o0 SandmaN 0o if that's violent then so is bambi
o0 SandmaN 0o well, bambi was pretty hardcore
o0 SandmaN 0o like when that bird was panicking when the hunters were coming
Zeus of Go: or when his mommy got shot
o0 SandmaN 0o that too
o0 SandmaN 0o all I remember from that movie was the bird though
Zeus of Go: Congress is trying to bring down games again
o0 SandmaN 0o because that scene was crazy
o0 SandmaN 0o it's just that fag lieberman
o0 SandmaN 0o no one cares about that guy
o0 SandmaN 0o he tried to put a stop to boxing
o0 SandmaN 0o and football
o0 SandmaN 0o and syncronized swimming
Zeus of Go: actually it's like 7 states
o0 SandmaN 0o maybe they should do that word that I don't know how to spell
o0 SandmaN 0o so they're their own country
o0 SandmaN 0o a very boring country
Zeus of Go: Secede
Zeus of Go: had to make sure I spelled it right
o0 SandmaN 0o yeah, that one
o0 SandmaN 0o but without violent video games there will be more terrorism
Zeus of Go: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5351969
o0 SandmaN 0o see, after blowing a bunch of shit up in a video game, it gets pretty old after a while
Zeus of Go: yeah
o0 SandmaN 0o and they're too poor in the middle east to be able to afford violent video games
o0 SandmaN 0o so they think chopping off heads is just a rad thing to do
o0 SandmaN 0o p'shh, I've done it like 400 times in mortal kombat alone
o0 SandmaN 0o old news
o0 SandmaN 0o so we should drop crates of ps2s and mortal kombat: deadly alliance
o0 SandmaN 0o and gta
Zeus of Go: Do you see what the opponents say though?
Zeus of Go: Most of them have never or do not play video games
Zeus of Go: so how do they know what they do? heh
o0 SandmaN 0o how the hell do those pokemon games sell so well
Zeus of Go: kids
o0 SandmaN 0o stupid kids
o0 SandmaN 0o playing pokemon games while there are bearded men manually disconnecting the heads of non-bearded men at an alarming rate in the Middle East
o0 SandmaN 0o they should be out learning stuff
o0 SandmaN 0o like...how to not shave your beard
o0 SandmaN 0o or playing mortal kombat and gta so they don't turn into terrorists
Zeus of Go: but GTA has a plane
Zeus of Go: that you can crash into buildings
o0 SandmaN 0o exactly
o0 SandmaN 0o they'll do it so many times in the video game, they'll just get bored of it
Zeus of Go: haha.. I suppose so
o0 SandmaN 0o then when they're hanging out with their friends at recess and one of them says, "Hey, you wanna go hijack a flight and ram it into a tower after class?" he'll be like "nah, been there, done that, man. let's go help some old ladies across the street."
Owens for President in 2024.
07032K4
Please donate to my new fundrasier: Click.
07022K4
Put the GN in the shop yesterday to get a compression test, get some oil leaks fixed, change the oil, fix the lines to my tranny cooler and get my air dam bolted. I got a call from them late in the afternoon. It's costing me roughly $400 to fix the leaks because just about every oil seal and gasket I have was blown, even the valve cover gaskets. Didn't really come as a surprise to me, since I see 80 psi on a regular basis. But I didn't know why my pressure was going so high, even with the 20w 50 oil. Now I know.
I checked out the Precision oil front cover the previous owner put on. I found a place called White Racing that sells them with a high volume oil pump, so 20w 50 is way too viscous for that setup. I'm getting it replaced with Royal Purple 15w 40, which is said to actually add about 5hp to the wheels, as well as being unable to overheat. And it's cheaper than Amsoil. Pretty snazzy oil.
Also threw in a bottle of Water Wetter. It's worked pretty well so far. I took it to WOT (wide open throttle) and I normally hit 185~190 degrees, but I couldn't get it to go above 180, and later in the day it was staying around 160. This stuff would probably also work pretty well in computers with liquid cooling. Costs about $11 a bottle at NAPA dealers.