05212K9
For sale: (edit: sold 5/26)
Sprint BlackBerry Curve 8330 Titanium (info)
New in sealed box, ESN clear for activation
$220 shipped
Lots of stuff to post, not much time to post it. I'm working on that. In the meantime, here are more conversations with my roommate. I will have to devote another section to this. More coming soon.
From Upstairs
Lindsay: U in bed yet
James: No
Lindsay: Do u wanna come up
James: For what
Lindsay: U know what
James: I'm going to sleep
Lindsay: Oh so u don't want pussy b4 u go tosleep
James: I'll take head
Lindsay: U can get a little come upstairs
James: You come down here
Lindsay: I'm prego and I'm tired I don't wanna go up and down stairs u get up here right now!!
James: That's ok
Lindsay: What the fuck I need penis
James: Come down and get it but I only want head
Lindsay: Whatever goodnite
Lindsay: R u still up
James: No
Lindsay: Well ur awake so if I come down will u fuck
James: I don't have condoms
Lindsay: James I am already pregnant and I don't have nething
James: How do you know
Lindsay: I got tested
James: When?
Lindsay: Last month but I know I don't have nething haven't had sex with neone since then
James: You're lying
Lindsay: No I'm not so do u want to fuck or no
James: You can give me head
Lindsay: Will u lick my twat
James: Hell no
Lindsay: K fuck u then have fun with ur hands lol
James: Have fun with yours
Lindsay: I will jerkface
Lindsay: Hello mr tyrell when will u b home
James: On my way
Lindsay: Ok well I am in bed but u cane come up if u wanna
James: That's ok
Lindsay: No u will do it
James: Just got some no thanks
Lindsay: What no u diddnt
James: Want to smell my finger?
Lindsay: Ur gross
Lindsay: Hey I can't sleep
James: So take those sleeping pills
Lindsay: I can't I have to b up erly and I won't b able to if I take em
Lindsay: If I sleep down there will u rub my belly
James: Um why
Lindsay: It relaxes me is it ok if I sleep in ur bed I don't like sleeping on the couch somethin about the texture
James: Wtf rub it yourself
Lindsay: Ill get to sleep better if u do it
James: I'm gonna need some incentive
Lindsay: Ill play with ur balls
James: Not really doing it for me sorry
Lindsay: Fine I will rub my head on ur penis
James: What
Lindsay: I don't want to do nething tonite will u just rub my belly
James: I'm going to sleep
Lindsay: Well ill be down in a min ans I'm sleepin with u and if u don't rub my belly ill take my bra off and leak my boob juice in ur bed
Lindsay: Hey what r u doin
James: Nothing about to head home
Lindsay: Ok I'm here I wanna sleep downstairs tonite cause its darker and cooler is that ok
James: I don't care
Lindsay: I mean in ur bed
James: Whyyyyy
Lindsay: Cause I want to so there end of discussion
James: No sleep on the couch
Lindsay: I don't like the couch I used to but not now I don't no y
James: Not my problem
Lindsay: Y do u care if I sleep in ur bed its big enuf
James: That spot is reserved for things into which I put my penis so if you aren't one of those then you don't get to sleep there
Lindsay: Ill fuck if u want there r condoms on ur dresser
James: Lol you bought condoms?
Lindsay: Yeah
James: Is that a first?
Lindsay: Shut the fuck up and it really sux when I have a kid with me and prego with anoth 1 and I'm buying condoms so u better appreciate it
James: Yeah wow I bet you felt like a whore doing that..assuming you don't always feel like a whore
Lindsay: Fuck u
Lindsay: Where r u
James: Driving
Lindsay: K well hurry I'm tired
James: So sleep
Lindsay: I need penis
James: I bet
Lindsay: Hello
James: Hi
Lindsay: How was ur day
James: Fantabulous
Lindsay: That's good so I was gonna ask if u could help me u c sir I want penis and ur the only person in the house withj that so can u help me out with that?
James: A transfer of liability of penis typically takes three business days
Lindsay: Well I don't think I wanna have sex 4 3 daysa how bout 30min max
James: You're dumb
Lindsay: No I'm horny lol
Lindsay: So r u comin up or am I comin to u
James: I'm coming in a towel
Lindsay: R u srious it better not b my towel
James: Was it good for you?
Lindsay: Do u mean ur wearing a towel or u jacked ur dick into 1
Lindsay: Well that answers that goodnite then faggot
Lindsay: Hey where r u
James: Out with some friends
Lindsay: K well ill b on the couch so wake me up when u get here
James: Why
Lindsay: So I can c u
James: You can't see me I'm a ninja
Lindsay: Yes I can and no ur not
James: Am too, wanna see my kungfu dick action?
Lindsay: Yes I do
James: Sorry you can't its too fast
James: Like drop down from the rafters swish swish skeet skeet ninja vanish
Lindsay: Well ur not a ninja sorry but yeah that does sound excirting
Lindsay: Where r u
James: Hiding in the shadows
Lindsay: K will u b home soon
James: I don't go home, a wise ninja waits for home to come to him
Lindsay: Well the house aint moving
James: AND THEN STRIKES MERCILESSLY COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED
Lindsay: Ur such a dork
James: Insulting one ninja is insulting all ninja, just wait til my clan hears about this
James: House of frying wonton wirr show you PAIN and fear maybe
James: And I'm about to nail this blonde chick so don't wait up
James: She's drunk and pissing in someone's driveway right now
Lindsay: I peed myself a little today when I sneezed
James: I mention a girl peeing and you have to 1 up her do you think that turns me on or something lol
James: Should I get you some diapers
Lindsay: No it just reminded me and fuck u I hope u get aids
Lindsay: Hello there when will u b here
James: Late
Lindsay: Well I'm horny
James: That's cool
Lindsay: K well just lettin u know if u wanna b home b4 I go tobed
Lindsay: Omg I'm a horrible person
James: I know but why do you say that
Lindsay: Nvm I probly shouldn't tell u
James: What did you do
Lindsay: Ill tell u later
James: Is this something that's going to make me angry
Lindsay: No u will probably laugfh
James: So tell me
Lindsay: I was watchin ur porn and I used 1 of kks toys
James: Used?
Lindsay: Take a guess james
James: Rofl what was it
James: Is it something that vibrates
Lindsay: I don't kno wwhat it is its part of somethin she got for xmas no it doesn't vib
Lindsay: Omg y did I do that
James: I dunno but now you need to burn it, see if any demons escape
Lindsay: Ur funny ohwell I was bored and she doesn't play with it neway
Lindsay: I've done worse to I used part of her toy to make a grav bong once lol
James: Mother of the year
Lindsay: Shut the fuck up well I'm goin to bed nite
Lindsay: Hey mr tyrell just letting u know I'm home
James: K
Lindsay: Where u at
James: My brother's
Lindsay: Ok well I did ur laundry and if I don't see u tonite ill see u tomorrow sometime to get ur car cleaned
James: Thanks
Lindsay: File: IMG00179.jpg (6 KB)
Lindsay: And that's 4 u
James: Yay
Lindsay: Yeah I just felt like showin em off I need to get new bras
Lindsay: Will u b home soon
James: 20 mins maybe
Lindsay: Well ill b up for abit if u wanna do something
Lindsay: Hey where r u
James: Had to stop at an atm omw home now
Lindsay: Oh y did u go the atm
James: Need cash for tomorrow
Lindsay: Oh I thought u were getting green I wanna smoke but I can't dammit
James: You can smoke this cock
Lindsay: Ok well then r u fucking to or should I go to bed
James: You should brush your teeth
Lindsay: Ur a jerk ill c u tomorrow then goodnite
Lindsay: Y aren't u answering ur phone
Lindsay: Hello r u getting these
James: Left my phone in the car
Lindsay: Ok well r u home
James: No why
Lindsay: I was thinkin bout driving home tonite but if ur not there ill stay in bassville
James: Ok
Lindsay: So will u b home
James: Eventually yeah
Lindsay: When
James: Idk
Lindsay: Well what r u doing james
Lindsay: K well ill b home soon
James: Just had dinner and some drinks now I'm about to wrap it up and wrap this date up
Lindsay: Oh I didn't know u had a date tonite sorry to bother u
Lindsay: And I kinda want me and u to go out and do something this weekend if I can find a babysitter is that ok
James: Get your wigger excon fuckbuddy to take you out
Lindsay: What do u mean fuckbudd I aint fuckin him its nothing like that between me and him
James: Yeah ok
Lindsay: Y would I lie I love u and I'm going to kick u in the balls
Lindsay: Answer ur phone dickface so I can yell at u
Lindsay: Just wait til u get home u better bring me a chic sanwich or something cause I am hungry and prego and yeah ur balls r getting kicked
Lindsay: I love u goodnite
Lindsay: Omg what r u doing
James: Watching a movie
Lindsay: Oh that's what that nosie is
Lindsay: Well now I'm awake and can't sleep
James: That sucks
Lindsay: Yeah and I want to eat somerthing sweet but I don't want to gey up
James: That's a sad story
Lindsay: Yes it is mr owens yes it is now bring me a popcicle
James: Nah
Lindsay: Or ooh some mms
James: Mms?
Lindsay: M and ms yes bring me those
James: No
Lindsay: Listen I need those mms
James: And I need some incentive
Lindsay: God dammit y does it always come down to this
James: Do you want them or not
Lindsay: I hate u yes but I'm just going to spit on it
James: You shouldn't have told me that, guess you're getting up
Lindsay: Omg I'm kidding ok bring them to me
James: M&Ms: so good you'll suck dick
Lindsay: Yeah really god I hate being pregnant y did u let this happen
Lindsay: Hello
James: What
Lindsay: Just saying hello ass
James: K
Lindsay: How r u
James: Peachy
Lindsay: That's good how was ur day
James: Wonderful
Lindsay: Well that's good ok I love u have a good nite
James: You too
Lindsay: Sorry I 4got to tell u I need penis
Lindsay: And I wanna do it on the couch I don't knowe y that's just the way I've beebn thinjing about it so can u assist me sir
James: I thought you said you didn't have sexual urges anymore
Lindsay: Well yes and no but yeah I just need it really bad right now so yeah
James: I'll take head
Lindsay: Ok james seriously no u can't do that
James: Ok goodnight then
Lindsay: U can't tell me I can't bring ne1 over and then not have sex when I'm horny it doest work like that so either let me bring some1 over or put ur dirty old penis in my beautiful vagina
James: I might kill your fetus with my dick
James: Penicular homicide
Lindsay: Ok that's fine ur welcome to try
Lindsay: I just wanted to tell u I love u tyrell
James: K
Lindsay: And ur an asshole
James: I know
Lindsay: Ok just makin sure
Lindsay: Can u bring me that plate that's in the fridge
James: No
Lindsay: Ok well if I come down there I aint comin backl up those stairs
James: Ok
Lindsay: And ur making me mad so I'm gonna sit on u
Lindsay: And u will hate it cause I'm way fat
James: Yeah
Lindsay: Seriously I am up to size 11 pants now omg this is crazy
James: It's because you're having twins
Lindsay: Shut the fuck up no I'm not
James: That's why you're so hungry all the time when you weren't last time you were pregnant. You're eating for three now
Lindsay: Well if I have twins ur taking 1 and we can move acros the street from eachother and they will meet up later and b like wtf like parent trap
James: Maybe we can get a reality show out of the deal
Lindsay: Omg I am really worried now is it posible to have twins without knowing ur having them
James: Yeah
Lindsay: R u being serious right now
James: Yeah
Lindsay: Please don't play with me do u really think I could b having twins
James: You are definitely having twins
Lindsay: Shut up this is stressing me and I heard u in the kitchen what r u eating
James: That plate of stuff you had in there
Lindsay: R u serious
Lindsay: I'm going to fucking murder u
James: Chill fatty
(this did not end here)
Twilight and the Whale
Lindsay: So what r u doin tonite
James: Depends on why you're asking
Lindsay: Well my sis called and was talking about how she needed to get away and she asked if she could come stay with us
James: That's fine but why are you asking what I'm doing tonight
Lindsay: I was gonna ask if you want to hang with us and watch movies or somethin
Lindsay: Ill cook u dinner
James: :(
Lindsay: So is that yes or no
James: It's a sadface
Lindsay: I know but y r u sad
James: Gosh I don't know where to start
James: Yeah I'll be there
Lindsay: Ok have u seen twilight yet
James: Yeah I watched it last night
Lindsay: Did u like it
James: No
James: The whole thing seemed like some socially awkward unpopular schoolgirl's masturbatory fantasy
Lindsay: Ok well I thought it was good think what u want
James: This pretty, intellectual and mysterious girl comes to a new school, is instantly accepted by everyone, gets asked to prom by a number of guys but she wants the guy that no other girl can have, the forbidden fruit, the VAMPIRE!!!
James: But he's not icky like nosferatu, he's super cute and friendly and stuff, like casper the friendly ghost
Lindsay: Well he is cedric from harry optter and he's hot f u
Lindsay: Y do u have to talk shit about all the movies I like
James: This girl is so friggin mysterious the mind reading vampire can't even read her mind, like woah. So he totally gets a boner for her and invites her to a game of vampire baseball because that's what the fuck vampires do
James: I'd have more to say but I left to get beer after that and I don't know how it ended
Lindsay: Well we will watch it tonite so u can see the ending
James: I'm guessing the friendly vampires save the chick from the mean vampires and the chick and the mind reader finally have sex but it's like jane austen sex so no one cares, the end
Lindsay: Nope ur wrong
James: Yeah it's probably even worse than that
James: Can we watch porn instead
Lindsay: No that would b weird
James: You won't be paying attention anyway, you'll just be talking over the movie about the stupid shit you two talk about without using your inside voices
Lindsay: Well were not watching porn that's all
James: Not that I want to watch porn with my pregnant roommate and her crazy cow sister but I figure since I won't be able to hear it I may as well get a visual I can enjoy
Lindsay: Ok but janet is gonna get ideas lol she was askin bout u that's y I asked u to come home
James: Oh fuck no
James: Isn't she engaged
James: Not that that's what would stop me. Ugh
Lindsay: Yes but ryan chreated on her and they r workin it out but she's still mad obviosly so ueah she is wanting to play lol
James: She can play in traffic
Lindsay: Well b nice u don't have to hang out if u don't wannt to but I am making dinner so u WILL b home to eat it james u will!!
James: Fine
Lindsay: U should get drunk tonite
James: Yeah then who knows I may just end up sticking my harpoon in that whale after all
Lindsay: Well I meant so u can enjoy urself when ur putting up with us but yeah that's cool to lol
James: THAR SHE BLOWS
Lindsay: Yeah ok ill see u tonite
James: So have you and your sister ever gotten experimental with each other
Lindsay: Wow I'm not even gonna answer that
James: Ever share toys or dicks?
Lindsay: Nope not gonna discuss this with u
James: Sounds like I'm on to something. I'll get your sister liquored up and get it out of her
Lindsay: There's nothin to get out ur just a sick person and u think about weird shit stop it
Lindsay: U stop it right now
James: Alright see you in a couple hours preggo
Lindsay: Pick up some tomato sauce on ur way home please sir
Lindsay: And janet will just say yes to mess with u she's like that
James: Oh I'm sure
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Contact:
craigsucks at gmail dot com